Storm in a B Cup: Marry me?

I’m a newbie to derby – Fresh Meat as we are officially called. Which conjures up the image of crafty gnarly lions awaiting their next meal of juicy steak! I guess that’s an incentive to join the pride or technically ‘pack’ in derby. Yes Siree learning derby is no picnic – first there’s the staying upright on your skates (tricky), then there’s the rules of the game (challenging), and taking the hits (breathtaking) but nothing is more baffling than the jargon – blockers, pivots, bout, jam, jammer panty (more on that later) and the very intriguing term ‘derby wife’.

This concept was bandied about at the New Plymouth derby camp with much speculation about who is a wife of who, how to ask, when to ask – I was quite perplexed- what sort of commitment is involved? If you are already a wife is it bigamy? Is there a ceremony? A possibility of sparkly jewellery? My only revelation from camp was a rule that your derby wife cannot be the your partner – makes sense, I think… further consultation of Blood and Thunder magazine revealed their definitions of Derby Wife as “She’ll ride in the ambulance with you when you lose a tooth, break your wrist. Or tear your ACL. She’ll make you laugh the whole way to the hospital, try to steal your pain medication (lovingly) and sneak your favourite food and a beer into recovery” another option “she may not even be your best friend in the league but she’s the one you know will be the first to back you up, even if you’re dead wrong. She’ll just tell you you’ve lost your fucking mind later in private, possibly kick your ass a little bit and then be the only one who could ever talk your hotheaded ass into some reason”

Ok – I get it – It’s like finding your derby best friend or kin that can help you through the ups and downs and smashes and crashes that is roller derby –I like it. Plus in the states at RollerCon there Is a ceremony!